Friday, May 1, 2009

The Guinea Pig Report: Jill the GPS

I'm going to lay my cards on the table. Here it is. We don't like each other. There. I've said it.

I'm not talking about my husband and me. I'm talking about the GPS. The Garmin Nuvi comes with a wide variety of voices you can choose to give you directions as you drive. Since this device belongs to my husband Chris, he got to pick. Each voice has a name assigned to it and he chose "Jill". There are several others with a myriad of accents, male and female. I voted for the Australian guy named Biff, but Chris held strong and so Jill it is.

The thing about Jill is, she loves Chris. She's there to help him at every turn. When he comes to a crossroads, Jill sees him through it. (Please tell me these puns aren't wasted on you)

But let me tell you. She's a control freak. When I'm driving, I like to decide the route. Oh sure, we start off okay. She tells me which way to go coming out of the driveway and I think "How cute. She thinks I don't know."

By the time I'm leaving the subdivision she starts getting a little pushy. "In point 2 miles, turn right."

And occasionally I like to go off the beaten path. And that's when the gloves come off. She says turn right. I decide that the steering wheel is in my hands so I turn left. And then she says it:


Remember that snotty girl in high school that you despised? The one who knew she was soooo much better than you because she had the cool jeans and yours were Walmart brand? Apparently she's now doing voice overs for Garmin. She doesn't just say the word. She says it with a six pack of attitude. Yep, she's all nicey nice as long as you do things her way.

Now if Biff and I were driving? I'd be enjoying the open road with a friendly pal and the confidence that I'll get where I need to go.

Cool factors about the Garmin Nuvi are that you can load music and pictures into it. You can also choose your vehicle icon which includes a motorcycle, fighter jet, or alien spaceship. And it's super easy to navigate (last pun, I promise)

I really love that you can download new maps and even use it in another country. That would have come in handy on our honeymoon in Italy. Ever try to ask for directions in another language when all you know is "how much does this cost" and "do you accept visa?"

Would I buy another one? Heck yeah! But if I see Jill at the class reunion, I'm not telling her that.


  1. Whoo Hoo!! I am your first follower, I feel so privilaged!

  2. Girl, my chick's name is Sharon and she too is partial to my Chris. It must be the "Chris Factor" she took me to the highest peak in Gatlinburg to a drop off. I mean where the pavement girlfriend turned to a serious dirt road facing some woods. I was PO so I toss her butt out the window to set her free. Apparently, since my Chris wasn't in the car with us. She decided to freak me out so I threw her butt out. Now, Chris is wondering where she is LOL

  3. I know you well and would never call you a Guinea Pig! Very funny. Hit the local paper, or the small town Voice. You're ready to be published in B&W!

    PS - there is a little of Jill in you!

  4. Don't irritate Jill, you're at a serious disadvantage. You may be the one holding the hammer but she is all that keeping you from wandering the woods forever.

  5. I do wish there was an 'insistence' setting on the damn thing, because like you I dislike being told when I'm leaving my driveway.

    I've made it far worse. As a novelty, I downloaded Cartman - uncensored - onto the Nuvi. Now I don't remember how to change it back.